The more things change, the more they stay the same. I'd like to try to break that cycle, but it seems impossible at this point in time. I'm trying to separate from my former self, but unfortunately all the STUFF from the former self's life keeps coming and biting me in the ass. I am up to my armpits in alligators. Too much. Too much. Ex issues. They won't stay in the past. Now the Whirling Vortex wants to get back together. No way! No how! I can't even imagine. He even kissed me in public and then had the nerve to say "Kiss me like you mean it"??? What!!! I'm working so hard to try to be the best me I can be, so by doing that, I'm choosing. Yes. I'm choosing not to become trapped into the same circle of blame, guilt, shame. I'm also choosing not to become wrapped up in the untruths and the hurtfulness. I am pulling out my inner Warrior Goddess to ensure I stay safe and I can live to do battle another day. Kids safe - check. Me safe - check. Home front safe - check. That's all that's required of the Warrior Goddess for now. That's where I will have to go for the strength to not get sucked into the time warp and the Whirling Vortex. Warrior Goddess vs the Whirling Vortex. Could be a grudge match, but I don't want a battle. I want peace and quiet and calm and healing. I want my Peace Man by my side. My Peace Man. My normalcy. He doesn't think so. But it is so. Even when we are apart, just thinking about him brings on such feelings of peace. Peace is what enhances the healing process. Even when you think you have completed the healing process, it's amazing how little it takes to suck you back down again.
Things I have learned:
1. Never let your guard down.
Whenever I get lulled into a false sense of security, that's when the WV strikes.
2. Always be true to your authentic self.
If you aren't true to yourself, who are you being true to? You cannot live up to anyone else's sense of how you are supposed to live your life. You have to do what your heart and soul tell you is right for you.
3. Find peace whenever and where ever you can.
Peace is rejuvenating to your soul. You can begin to hear your inner voice speak when you have entered into a peaceful state of being. Your inner voice is silenced when the outer world is allowed to disturb your peace.
4. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Deep breathing helps to silence the outer world and bring peace to your soul. Cleansing breaths. Releasing breaths. In with the good. Out with the bad. Shoulders start to relax down from being up around your ears.
5. A relaxed state of being assists in allowing intelligent thoughts to prevail.
If you relax into a state of peace, the brain becomes silent from the relentless, repetitive, destructive thought patterns that interfere with rational judgment and decision-making.
6. Smile.
Not only does a smile use less muscles than a frown, but it releases endorphins which help to lift the spirits and gasp, let some happiness in. A smile is the only thing that you can give away for free that comes back to you a thousandfold.
No comments:
Post a Comment