On the harsh side, Whirling Vortex is on a downward spiral again. Unable to work and barely able to fend for himself. I have been pitching in a fair amount as he isn't really able to cook, eat, drink, talk. It's such a shame. I will be with him during his doctor's visit today. I hope he can make it. I still feel so responsible for this latest episode. But yet I know I am not. I did the best that I could in a terrible situation. I couldn't have him living with us any longer. The wonderful children were being negatively affected. It was a horrible living condition. Anyways, now I just feel sad. And responsible. I want to help, but yet I really don't. I dread the phone calls and the pleas to please just come over. He hates being by himself. But I hate being over there. It's a burden and I'm already maxed out. 2 teens and my mom at home. Huge house and yard to look after. 4 dogs. A full time job. A couple of friends with troubles too. Peace Man at odds with himself and not in a good place. What's left for me? Where is my time to feel good? About myself. About my life. When do I even get a chance to think about me? I'm not a selfish person, but what about me?
